Thread:509894/@comment-25356578-20141015114014

As promised, I did read through the Rosa backstory, and while there is a few molodramatic annoucements such as Rosa saying her daughter will be more the most powerful person in the world giving it a Snow White-like premonition and feel and a few narritive mistakes, (Again, I know you're still writing so things can change - nor am I judging) I think you maybe onto something once you've gotten more pages together near completion.

Works in progress can be exciting, but also need to have a steady readflow as well. Again, the lack of wordwap on the website your story is on can deter others into not finishing the reading and I would suggest that if there's a setting on the website for wordwrap I would enable it.

If it's a copy/paste issue do the site offers a means to upload the sections from a file such as a Microsoft Word document?

As for the ending of that chapter -- I would be a bit shaken if I heard drips of blood like that after hearing what was heard earlier. 