Robin Backwards/Transcript


 * (Episode starts)


 * Robin: Calling all Titans! Please assemble in the living room... For an ice cream sundae bar!


 * Cyborg: Ice cream?


 * Beast Boy: Did he scream "ice cream?"


 * Starfire: He did scream the "ice cream."


 * Raven: We all screamed "ice cream."


 * All: Ice cream!


 * Raven: Wait a second.


 * Starfire: I see no cream of ice.


 * Robin: No you don't. Because there is none. This, is a meeting.


 * Beast Boy: But dude, that's the opposite of ice cream.


 * Cyborg: (LAUGHING) We fell for the ole sundae-bar but really it's a boring meeting switcheroo.


 * Robin: I fooled you all into coming so I could show you something I've been working very hard on. (FANFARE PLAYING) The Rules of Robin.


 * All: Boo!


 * Starfire: Ba-boo!


 * Cyborg: I said, "Boo!"


 * Raven: Boo, boo, boo.


 * Robin: You don't even know what you're booing yet.


 * Raven: Well, it's a big book with your name on it. That's all we need to know.


 * Robin: It's a strict rule book on how to follow rules. "Rule number one: Follow the rules." (ALARM BLARING) I'll read the rest of the rules on the way. Titans, go! "Rule 213: Apples are to be eaten bottom to top. "No more of this sideways nonsense. "And when disposing of the stem..."


 * Man: Aaaahh! (THUD)


 * Robin: Oh, no. Not him.


 * (SCREAMING) (CRASHING)


 * Nibor: You am safe from fireless building now. No thanks to Nibor. (SCREAMING)


 * Beast Boy: Why's that dude saving that other dude from nothing?


 * (SCREAMING)


 * Cyborg: And why does he look exactly like you?


 * Starfire: Except, slightly more handsome. (LIGHT R&B MUSIC PLAYING) Yeah.


 * Robin: "Rule 75: I'm the handsome one." And he's from Bizarro World, where everyone is the opposite of someone here. He's my opposite. Lacking my intelligence, leadership and incredible athletic ability.


 * Nibor: Ahh!


 * Robin: Urgh! Ah! Everyone, this is Nibor.


 * Nibor: Goodbye, bad to meet you all.


 * Beast Boy: Really. So, so, rude.


 * Robin: That's Bizarro-speak. He usually says the opposite of what he really means. So, for him, up actually means...


 * Beast Boy: Sideways?


 * Raven: No, Beast Boy.


 * Beast Boy: Backwards.


 * Raven: Keep trying.


 * Beast Boy: Uh, lawnmower?


 * (LAWNMOWER NOISES)


 * Raven: No.


 * Robin: What are you doing here, Nibor?


 * Nibor: Bizarro Titans say, me do great job as leader and they kick me out. So now Nibor protect Jump City. (DOG BARKING) Oh, no. Dog be held hostage! (PUNCHING) (SCREAMING)


 * Robin: Maybe we should take him back to the Tower, until we figure out what to do with him.


 * (DOG BARKING)


 * Nibor: How dare you let me into your ugly home.


 * Beast Boy: (GASPING) If you don't like it, bro, then you can get out.


 * Raven: No, Beast Boy. He's saying he likes our place. Opposite-speak, remember?


 * Starfire: Perhaps we should converse more with Nibor, to better understand this strange and inconsistent manner of speech.


 * Gameshow Host: It's the "Backward Talk" game. Where contestants battle it out to try to guess what Nibor is really saying. Me hate justice and want to set all criminals free.


 * Cyborg: So, you love justice and want all criminals in jail. (CHUCKLING) It's kind of fun.


 * Host: That's right Cyborg.


 * Beast Boy: Ooh, let me try.


 * Nibor: Me hate pizza.


 * Beast Boy: No way, pizza is great!


 * Host: Ooh, that's gonna cost ya.


 * Starfire: No, Beast Boy, he means me love pizza.


 * Host: Now that's more like it.


 * Nibor: Yes, yes, yes. Me hate pizza.


 * Beast Boy: You're so wrong, bro! So wrong! I can't even look at your face. Pizza's so good. That warm cheese when it goes down your throat.


 * Host: And that's all the time we have for the "Backward Talk" game.


 * Robin: Okay, Titans. Time for more Rules of Robin. "Rule 52: A superhero must train a minimum of three times a day."


 * (ALL GROANING)


 * Nibor: Ooh, me train. Watch. (SNORING)


 * Beast Boy: Whoa. I totally get him now. I wanna train like Nibor.


 * Cyborg: Me too!


 * (SNORING)


 * Raven: Way ahead of you. (SNORING)


 * Starfire: I never knew that training could be so nice.


 * Robin: Argh! This is the opposite of training.


 * Cyborg: We're just following Nibor's lead.


 * Robin: If Nibor wants to stay, he has to follow the rules.


 * Nibor: Nibor promise to follow rules.


 * Robin: Thank you. Now, let's get back to The Rules of Robin.


 * (ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC PLAYING)


 * Nibor: Calling all Titans! Please report to living room for three hours of cardio.


 * Robin: Cardio! Who's ready to get sweaty?


 * Raven: Have a seat, Robin.


 * Robin: A seat? But, uh, that's the opposite of cardio.


 * Starfire: Yes. We have called you here under false pretenses to tell you we are making Nibor our new leader.


 * Robin: What?


 * Nibor: Me promise to be a cruel and unfair leader.


 * Robin: But rule 637 states...


 * Beast Boy: Sorry, bruh, we like Nibor's rules better.


 * Robin: He doesn't have any.


 * Raven: Don't take it personally. We just like the opposite of you better.


 * Robin: Look, guys, there's a reason I have so many rules. (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) It's so I can get the best from each of you and if Nibor becomes your leader, this team will take a big step backwards. Literally.


 * Cyborg: Backwards? (GASPS) Robin, you just helped me realize something.


 * Robin: Yes?


 * Cyborg: Nibor is Robin spelled backwards. That's crazy.


 * Robin: (SIGHS) I'll just go somewhere I'm appreciated. I never thought I'd have to use this. Wah! (ALARM BLARING) (BEEPING) (SCREAMING) (WOOSHING) Aah! Aah!


 * (DEVICE BEEPING)


 * All: Not reporting for duty, sir.


 * Robin: I don't know I didn't come here years ago. You guys are everything I ever wanted in a team. The exact opposite of my team. Grobyc. The opposite of Cyborg. Quiet, thoughtful and 99% human. Nevar. The opposite of Raven. Great attitude, smiles a lot, into spring fashion trends. Boy Beast. The opposite of Beast Boy. Smart as a whip and a real go getter, with the ability to turn into any boy in the world. And Erifrats. The opposite of Starfire.


 * Erifrats: (BELCHES)


 * Robin: Well, maybe not everyone is an improvement.


 * Erifrats: Me put you in friend zone. (KISSING AND SLURPING)


 * Robin: Stay back! Now, tell me why you got rid of Nibor.


 * Grobyc: Nibor never always want to train.


 * Boy Beast: Only eat the junk food and sleep.


 * Nevar: Me need structure.


 * Robin: Then do I have a book for you. What do you think? Can I be your new leader?


 * All: No!


 * Robin: Now, let's follow some rules. Bizarro Titans, go! Excellent form on those hurdles, Grobyc.


 * Grobyc: Aah! He compliment Grobyc's form. Who he not think he is?


 * Robin: You're doing amazing, Nevar.


 * Nevar: Hm. How polite.


 * Robin: Almost there, Boy Beast. Keep it up!


 * Boy Beast: Him too nice. Aah!


 * Robin: Great job, guys. (MUTTERING ANGRILY) Great work today, team! You really outdid yourselves.


 * Grobyc: We enjoying your leadership very much, Robin.


 * Robin: Thank you.


 * Erifrats: And me feelings for you have not changed at all.


 * Robin: Wait, is that backwards talk?


 * Boy Beast: No.


 * Robin: Was that backwards talk?


 * Nevar: Yes.


 * Robin: Hmm, very confusing. But, I'm going to assume, you all love me. Now, excuse me while I work up that new training regimen. I am just, loving these Bizarro Titans.


 * Grobyc: Ugh! Me did not know that Robin such inspirational and great leader.


 * Nevar: What am we do then?


 * Erifrats: Me not have the plan.


 * Nibor: Am you enjoying training, Titans?


 * Cyborg: Ha ha! Man, making Nibor team leader was the best idea we've ever had.


 * Grobyc: Training time am over, Nibor.


 * Nibor: Bizarro Titans and... Robin?


 * Beast Boy: What are you doing here?


 * Robin: Ah, nothing much. They just brought me over here to tell you personally, what a great job I'm doing and how they never want me to leave.


 * Starfire: That is what the Bizarro's said?


 * Robin: Yes.


 * Raven: The backwards talking guys told you how much they love you?


 * Robin: They wouldn't stop saying how much they love me... Argh! (SCREAMS DELIRIOUSLY)


 * Nevar: We am healthy and rested of Robin. Give us back Nibor, later!


 * Robin: Aah!


 * Cyborg: Listen up, you backwards bozo's. We don't want Robin.


 * Robin: Aah!


 * Erifrats: We want him very much.


 * Robin: Aah!


 * Raven: You keep him.


 * Robin: (SCREAMING)


 * Nibor: Start. START! Me did not know Bizarro Titans care so little about Nibor. Me am sorry for not leaving.


 * Erifrats: It okay, Nibor, you know we always hate you.


 * All: Urgh!


 * Nibor: Come off, guys. Let's not go home. (BEEPS)


 * (The episodes has been stopped)