Dignity of Teeth/Transcript

Below is a full transcript for the "Dignity of Teeth".

Transcript
[EPISODE BEGINS]

[ALL CHOMPING] Mmm, that's so good.

Ugh, what are you guys eating? - Mmm, ah! Beastie made us a cabbage, garlic and onions stew. Ooh, that sounds like a dangerous combination of ingredients. I like to hit you with flavor. [GROANS] [BURPS] I think it is the he-avenly. [EXHALES] Ooh! Have some. [EXHALES] - Here you go.

Enough! [PANTING] Your breath is toxic, Titans.

You need to brush now! - Okay. Not your hair, brush your teeth. Ahh! My gums! - Ow! - Ahh! Scratchy! - Tooth brushes! - There are brushes for our tooths? Beats me. I didn't know teeth had hair on 'em until just now. Teeth do not have hair! Brushing your teeth is the cornerstone of good oral hygiene. Good? Good?! Oral Hygiene was the greatest pitcher in baseball history. Nicknamed The Bull Dog, Oral Hygiene was known for his slight frame and fierce competitive spirit. A Cy Young Award winner, three time All-Star, World Series champion and MVP. He holds the record for 59 consecutive scoreless innings pitch! And you say he was just good?!

Not that Oral Hygiene, Cyborg. The kind, in here. [HORSE NEIGHING] - Look at this Titans. It's a mess! - Aah. Oh, saving a little snack for later? [CHUCKLES] - May I? - Ahh! Mmm, delicious. [CHUCKLES] I do love broccoli, but not between your teeth! Disgusting! What do we have here?

BEAST BOY: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! - Stop it! - Your tooth has a cavity. It needs to be removed. Uh-uh, no way! I loves all my teeth! If we don't remove that tooth, Beast Boy, it will get infected and you will die! - Die! - So? Let me explain it to him. Dude, you gotta pop that toothie-tooth outta your face so you can get some of that good money from the tooth fairy. I'm not trading my tooth for a couple of dirty nickels. Bro, didn't you hear? The tooth fairy's got that paper money now. Paper money? She can have all my teeths! The tooth fairy? I don't know. Anyone who sneaks into your room at night and collects teeth is a creep. I always thought the fairy of tooths was sweet. Ah, of course you did. She collects teeth, Starfire, think about it. What is she even doing with all these teeth? Normal things - like, uh, wearing them as jewelry.

Ew! CYBORG: Maybe she doesn't have her own teeth and is just trying to find some that fit in her mouth. RAVEN: That's even worse. STARFIRE: I believe she dresses the teeth up and plays with them as little toys. [SHUDDERS] Come on, Raven. You never put a tooth under your pillow when you were a kid? Uh, no. No, I didn't. That's like putting your hair or toe nails under your pillow for money.

And I don't do business with creeps.

Well, I do. Yo, help me get this tooth out of my face. Gladly. [BLADES SWISHING] [GRUNTS] Ah! Oh! Ah! Uh! [GROANS] Sweet. [CHUCKLES] [PURRING] [ALARM RINGING] [SNORING] Meow! [LAUGHING] Whoa! All this for one tooth?

I wish I would've lost more. [MANIACAL LAUGH] Whoo, fresh shades! Thanks, bought 'em with some of that good old paper money. [GASPS] That is wrong! - You look like the Jack of the lanterns.

Ahh! Raven still thinks I'm cute. Right, mama? Ow! Sweet! This one's going under the pillow next. Wait a minute. You've been intentionally loosing teeth to get money from the tooth fairy! - So? - You don't have a problem with selling your teeth to a woman you don't know who is using them for who knows what? I know you think she's a creep, mama, but I don't like to judge, I just like to get

Paid! Whoo! I didn't get a stack like that for my baby teeth. That's 'cause she pays more for permanent teeth.

All of my teeth are - permanent. Well, they won't make you any money just laying around in your mouth. I'm warning you, your teeth are your source of dignity. You sell your teeth and there will be consequences. Creepy, creepy, consequences. Whatever, we're gonna be rich!

[SPITS] [DINGS] [SHATTERING] [SPITS] [LAUGHING MANICALLY] [LAUGHING MANICALLY] [SLOBBERING] [LAUGHS MANICALLY]

Guys, this one has teeth. [GASPS] Teeth! Teeth! [GRUNTS] That toothie. Ew, what are you guys doing? - We sold our teeth. But we need more of the spending money. Can't we just have a couple of your teeth, mama? We can pay you back in hair and toenails. Ugh, doing business with a creep has turned you into creeps.

We're not creeps.

Look at yourselves. [ALL LAUGHING] ALL: Fresh. Okay, I can't deal with a house of creeps. We're getting your teeth back. This is it, her lair. [KNOCKS] [GRUNTING] Ooh, such a charming atmosphere. We simply must get the name of her decorators. Hey, creeps, let's just find your teeth and get out of here. Oh, this one's still wet. Don't I look glamorous? Look at that winning smile.

Mr. Tooth, would you like some tea? - Oh, yes, thank you.

Focus! - Ah, visitors! Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta.

That's the fairy? - We're the Teen Titans. No need for introductions. Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta. We've met, while you were sleeping. Yes, I wiggled my fingers under all of your pillows to extract the pearly treasures held under them. Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta All except you, Raven. You never gave me your precious teeth. It made me covet them even more. Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta. Ugh, I'd never sell my teeth to some creep.

I don't even know what you do with them.

Isn't it obvious? - Jewelry? - Disgusting! - Tooth replacements? - No need. Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta. Do you dress them up and play with them like dolls? I am not a monster. I do what any normal person would do with teeth. I eat them. [CHOMPING] Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta [GROANS] I knew you were a creep! Just give us our teeth back! [GULPS] I paid good money for those teeth. I might be willing to trade them for a set that has been missing from my collection.

Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.

No way. How about a game then? Hmm? I win, I get your pearly whites. You win, your friends get theirs back. [ALL SLOBBERING] - [SIGHS] I accept.

Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta The game is an eating competition.

Ugh! Don't tell me we're eating - Teeth! Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta. What else are we going to do with them? The competition begins now. [ALL CHEERING MANIACALLY] You better get going. Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta. [CHOMPING] So gross! [ALL SLOBBERING] No choice. [GRINDING] Whoa, this is really good. [CHOMPING] My goodness, you have quite the appetite. Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta. [CHOMPING] You better stop talking and start eating. Mama's hungry! [CHOMPING] [CRUNCHING] Ahh, so full. Can't eat another. [SADLY] Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta. Mmm-mmm.

I win! - I can't believe you beat me. Mmm, these scrumptious teeth made it easy. Mmm-mmm-mmm. I'd pay good money for these too. Maybe you're not a creep after all.

I really misjudged you, tooth fairy.

It happens. Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta. Here are your friends' teeth. I already ate one of Beast Boy's. [ALL SLOBBERING] He'll never miss it. [BOTH LAUGHING] Thanks for getting our teeth back, mama. We should have never let our greed get the best of our smiles. You were right about the dignity of teeth, Raven. You can't put a price on 'em. But you can put a little salt on them! Yeah! Mmm! So good! [CHOMPING] [ALL SHUDDERING] - Creepy. I'll give you a buck for your molar. [EVILLY] Ta-ta-ra-ta-ta!

[EPISODE ENDS]