Pie Bros/Transcript

Raven:What is that?

Beast Boy: A birthday gift for Cyborg.

I'm drawing him as a dog, and me as a robot.

Raven: Okay, and you think he's gonna like it?

Beast Boy: As his best friend in the whole world, I always know exactly what he wants. Cyborg: Hey, Beast Bud. You hungry?

Beast Boy: Watch this.

Cyborg: You know, I kinda feel like having

Beast Boy: Pie, perhaps?

Cyborg: How did you know?

Beast Boy: It's my job to know. And 'cause I love pie, too!

When I say "I want" you say, "Pie" I want

Beast Boy: Pie!

Cyborg: I want

Beast Boy: Pie!

When I say "Yummy" you say, "Pie"

Yummy

Cyborg: Pie!

Beast Boy: Yummy

Cyborg: Pie!

Both Cyborg and Beast Boy: Apple, peach, Rhubarb, or pear

Any kind, we don't care

Beast Boy: I love pie

Cyborg: Yeah, I love pie

Both Cyborg and Beast Boy: Oh, we love, love, love love, love pie

[laughs]

Beast Boy: Yeah, dude. Warm pie. Cyborg: I need a slice. Beast Boy: Yup, he is gonna love my gift. [humming]

Cyborg: Time to get our pie on.

Robin: You guys really like pie. Beast Boy: Who doesn't? Ooh, whatcha got there? Mmm. Oh, wow, blueberry.

Raven: Uh, gross.

Beast Boy: Relax, I just washed my hands. Raven: And I've lost my appetite. Starfire The Mother Mae Eye makes the best pies in all of Jump City. [angelic music playing]

Robin: I wonder what her secret is.

Raven: I hear she bakes people into her pies. [all laughing]

Robin: Someone's been reading too many fairy tales. [sighs]

Starfire: No, I suspect the secret ingredient is love. Cyborg: Time we talked about something really important. This guy's birthday!

[cheering]

Starfire: Oh, yes. I have decided to plan Cyborg's day of birth - festivities myself.

Robin: No offense, Starfire, but maybe someone else should plan this party. Starfire: Oh, please allow me. [crunching]

I promise I will learn all of the proper Earth customs.

Cyborg: Well, the party can be lame. As long as the presents aren't. Beast Boy: And you best believe I know exactly what my best friend wants. Cyborg: I bet it's not that new video game that a certain cybernetic organism has been dropping hints about.

Beast Boy: Video game?

[shattering]

Ah, it's totally the new game. The really expensive one. The one you should know I can never afford.

Yup, that's what I got you.

Cyborg: And that's why you're my best friend. [music] [belching] [loudly belching]

Cyborg's voice in Beast Boy's head: And that's why you're my best friend. Beast Boy: But I can't afford the game. Cyborg's voice in Beast Boy's head: Then get a job, you bum. Beast Boy: I will get a job. For you, Cyborg window hallucination. Oh, wow. Bubbles. [laughs]

And that, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is why he is guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt. [whispering] What? I'm supposed to be defending him?

[chuckling nervously] Oh. Oh, gross! Gross, gross, gross! What's that squiggly thing? You mean that's what's inside of people?

[squeals] Starfire: After much research, I have decided to hold the festivities for Cyborg here. Raven: That's actually a good choice. Starfire: Ooh! I also made these for the party. [meowing] [barking] Robin: Ah, balloon animals. Starfire: Correct. And there will be a game called, "Pin the tail on the donkey".

Do you think this spike will be sufficient for tail-pinning?

Raven: Uh, yeah.

That's about right. [knees knocking] [braying]

Robin: Hey, you okay, Beast Boy?

Beast Boy: Oh, man! It's just I can't afford the present that Cyborg really wants. Robin: Friends don't care about how much money you spend. Just that you put some thought into it. [door opens]

Cyborg: Whaddup, Titans?

Robin: Which reminds me. Hey, Cyborg. I thought I'd give you your birthday gift a little early. Cyborg: Your gift to me is a half drunk soda?

Robin: What? Not expensive enough for you, fancy pants? You know, I'd like to think it's the thought that counts. [whispering]

We cheapos need to stick together. [humming] [music] [vomiting] [door opens] [laughing]

Cyborg: Nice hat. Whew. Comedy gold. Beast Boy: Just trying to make a few extra bucks for something important. Cyborg: Whatever they're paying you, it's not enough. [laughing] [cackling]

Oh! Oh, my goodness! Whew!

[laughing] Oh, my oh my goodness. Anyways, I'm just making sure my best friend is gonna be at my party. Not dressed like that, of course. Beast Boy: About that, uh - I have to work Friday.

Cyborg: What! It's my birthday. [stammering]

Beast Boy:If I don't work, I can't I mean, you won't have Look, I just - I can't be there.

Cyborg: You are making less sense than usual. Beast Boy: What I'm trying to say is that I'll be there, but - I'll be working.

Cyborg: Oh, I see. So basically, making a few extra bucks is more important than your pal. [sobbing]

Well, do not take my quivering lip as a sign of profound disappointment.

[door closes] [music] [horn blowing] [dog barking]

Starfire: Duck, duck, goose!

[screaming]

Robin: Stop!

[goose honking]

Starfire: Did I get that right?

Raven: That's how I played. [clinking]

Cyborg: I just wanted to thank you all for coming. And you know, "taking time off from your jobs". Oops! Speaking of jobs. Guess someone is gonna have to pick that up. Man! I am so clumsy today. Oh, cleaning crew! I guess my so-called best friend will have to come over and...

Beast Boy: How dumb can you be?! I'm only working here so I can buy you an expensive present!

Cyborg: I never told you to get a stupid job!

Beast Boy: Well, my hallucination of you in the store window did. And the real you made fun of my pie suit. [Beast Boy sobbing] [roaring] [roaring]

Robin: Think we should stop them?

Raven: Nah. This is the first time I've ever actually enjoyed a birthday party. Starfire: Oh, wonderful! Then the celebration is a great success. [humming]

Raven: Uh. I don't think we need any more pies, granny. [whirring] [granny humming] [granny cackling]

Beast Boy: Since you love gifts so much, here is what I was gonna give you! When I still liked you. [shouting]

Cyborg: This is what you got me? I love it! It's well drawn, and thoughtful! - Thank you!

Beast Boy: I knew you would like it. Ha!

[slurping] Face pie. Cyborg: Ah, the best kind. Huh, pie bro.

When I say, "I want" you say, "Pie"

I want

Beast Boy: Pie!

Cyborg: I want

Beast Boy: Pie!

When I say "Yummy" you say "Pie"

Yummy

Cyborg: Pie!

Beast Boy: Yummy

Cyborg: Pie!

Both Cyborg and Beast Boy: Apple, peach, Rhubarb, or pear

Any kind, we don't care

Beast Boy: I love pie

Cyborg: Yeah, I love pie

Both Cyborg and Beast Boy: Oh, we love, love, love love, love pie. [laughing]

Beast Boy: Man, my pie bro!

Cyborg: Oh, why were we ever fighting?

Beast Boy: I love pie.

Cyborg: I love you and pie.

Beast Boy: Hey, looks like everyone went home.

Cyborg: Just means more pie for us. [whistles] [humming]

Something tells me I just figured out what Mother Mae Eye's secret ingredient is.

Beast Boy: Uh-huh.

Cyborg: Mmm. Love. [choking]

Beast Boy: Oh, mmm, yup. The secret ingredient is definitely love. [chewing loudly] [belching]

Robin: Seriously?

Both Cyborg and Beast Boy: What?