Campfire Stories/Transcript

Below is a full transcript for "Campfire Stories".

Transcript
[EPISODE BEGINS]

[RIBBITING] [BEEPING] [SNIFFING] Ah! The great outdoors! What's so great about it? We're sleeping on rocks! Rocks! And all there is to eat is beef jerky. Blah! - And there are no toilets.

I am still the confused as to why we are sleeping out of the doors! Is the Tower broken? No! We're out here because camping is fun! Hiking, making s'mores, campfires - BEAST BOY: Mosquito bites.

CYBORG: Wild animal attacks. STARFIRE: The body odors.

Can we go home? - No! You are having too much fun! Fine! Let's just watch some TV. Where are you going to plug in a TV? - He's right! I don't see any outlets! - You mean no TV? [BOTH SCREAMING] We don't need TV to entertain us! That's what scary campfire stories are for. Huh! That could be fun.

You think my idea could be fun? - Sure! Why not? And you're going to do it, and I don't have to scream at anyone? - It sounds the delightful.

[PANTING] Keep it together, Robin. Don't blow this. For once they're all excited. Hmm, not me. I still want to go home. Three out of four! I'll take it! - Who wants to go first? - I do! I gots a super scary story! I just hope you all brought a change of underpants. BEAST BOY: So, there was this lumberjack dude who was lost in the woods and all walking around in circles like a fool. He was like, "Man, I'm crazy lost and walking around in circles like a fool.

"But then he found a cabin, and he was all like, "Cool. I'm gonna just chill in here.

"But what he didn't know is that some other lumberjack dude said it was haunted. That place is so haunted. [THUNDERING] BEAST BOY: So the lumberjack dude was all chilling when he heard it! Some creepy voice [IN CREEPY VOICE] I got you where I want you. Now I'm gonna eat you. The lumberjack dude, well, he's been around the block a few times and isn't that scared by it, so he starts chilling again! But the creepy voice started again, only louder! [IN CREEPY VOICE] I got you where I want you! Now I'm gonna eat you! [HOWLING] This lumberjack dude is getting creeped out. He's all like, "I need to find out where that creepy voice is coming from!" [IN CREEPY VOICE] [ECHOING] I got you where I want you. Now I'm gonna eat you. He accidently finds this secret hidden room. Crazy spooky! [GASPS] The lumberjack dude was like, "I'mma go into that creepy hidden room, yo!"

[FLOORBOARDS CREAKING] It was completely empty, except for this weird, spooky tiny stage. He pulled the curtain back and you know what he saw? A crazy little monkey with a booger on his finger saying, "I got you where I want you. Now I'm gonna eat you!" [SLURPS] [SCREECHING] [ALL GROANING] - CYBORG: Aw, really? - STARFIRE: That was the disgusting. [LAUGHING] Oh, I got you so good! You should see your faces! BEAST BOY: Oh! That's for telling a story about a booger! Seriously, can we go home now? First, I wish to attempt the telling of the spooky story. On a scary day, the friends were having the good friend times. And doing the regular friend things, until the spooky ghost man came from his grave, and scared everyone! [IN DEEP VOICE] I am the spooky ghost man, and I am haunting you! [SHRIEKING] The friends narrowly escaped! The spooky ghost man was very scary, but they were safe from his hauntings in the bushy bush. They all breathed the breath of relief, until they realized the ghost had their ball! [SING-SONGY] Dun-dun-dun. Pew, pew, pew! Thunders, thunders, lightnings! "What should we do?" they cried! If we do not have the ball, we cannot play the catch! [SCREAMING] Pew! Then the spooky ghost man returned, and he said, "I'm sorry I scared you. "I am the socially awkward!" He was very sorry about scaring everyone, and brought the ball for the friends, so they could all enjoy playing the catch together. Oh! And there were also two wolfmans! Woof! Woof woof! Woof! Woof! [HOWLING] [ROBIN SCREAMING] [LAUGHS] It seems I have succeeded in the telling of the spooky story! Nah, that's just Robin getting mauled by a bear. [GROWLING] The bear is eating me! He is eating me! Huh, he must have smelled the s'mores. [SCREAMING] Can we just go home? Nope! 'Cause it's my turn for a scary story! CYBORG: I was out one night taking a relaxing night drive, eating some peanuts, you know, got some of that good music going, when suddenly, there's a breaking news report on the radio. ANNOUNCER: We interrupt this broadcast to report an escaped mental patient on the loose. He is dangerous, and he has a hook for a hand. Police recommend you stay inside and lock all doors and windows. CYBORG: So I'm eating my nuts, and I hear this report, you know, and I say, "Nuh-uh!" And I flip my car around and go home. I'm not about to be driving around at night when there's crazy pants hook-hand dude creeping around in the bushes. No way! So later that night, I'm at home, you know, doors locked, eating some peanuts, got some of that good music going, and suddenly [RINGING] [IMITATING PHONE RINGING] So I pick it up! - What up, what up? - But there's no one on the line. So I listen closer, and I hear [HEAVY BREATHING] I hang up, and I think, I should just ignore this prank caller. Then I say, "Nuh-uh!", and I call the police, demand they come over to the Tower, and investigate. And it's a good thing I did. There was some creepy prowler calling from inside the house! They arrested him, of course. I had to go to the police station and ID him, testify against him in a court of law. It was a whole process, man, but the system worked! And he's gonna be in jail for a very long time. [WEEPING] Point being, you can never be too careful. There's a lot of crazies out there. Hoo, doggie! [SCOFFS] That wasn't scary at all, Cyborg. [YAWNS] It has given me the sleepies. So disappointed, brah. What can I say? I'm a very cautious person. Okay. Well then, time to go home.

Don't you want to hear my scary story? - Absolutely not. Great! And what makes my story extra scary is that it's all true. [GULPS] ROBIN: It was a dark and stormy night, and I forgot my umbrella. So I got completely soaked. It was terrible! The hair I spent hours on, ruined! Normally, this would be a big deal by itself, but tonight, I had a date with a real girl. In your face, everybody who said it would never happen! [LAUGHS] I had purposely shown up late because I didn't want to be the first one to arrive. But there was no sign of her. I started to get nervous. Did I look like a loser sitting there all alone? [PEOPLE WHISPERING] Was everyone thinking I was eating yet another meal all by myself? So what if I like to eat by myself? Robin, party of one? More like, Robin, party of fun! With what felt like a million beady eyes staring at me, I had to get out of there. I was starting to sweat. So I tried to cool off. Instead, I splashed water all over my pants! Everyone was going to think I peed myself! But it was water, just water! Sure, it looks like pee, but it's not! It was water! I didn't pee myself! I haven't done that in a very long time. [SIGHS] I tried to stay calm, but that's when I heard the scariest sound ever. [GURGLING] ROBIN: It was my stomach! I decided to order, and also eat the box of chocolates

I'd brought for my date. She never came. But the check did. I'd assumed my date would be paying for the meal, so I didn't bring my wallet. [GASPS] Not knowing what to do, I ran and ran and ran and ran, and never stopped running! And it's all true. [SIGHS] - You are a sad little man, aren't you? - Yes, I am. [GROWLING] Well, that was terrifying. Now can we go home? Not until you have told the scary story, Raven. You want a scary story? Sure. RAVEN: Once upon a time, a creature of darkness crawled into the world. The light hurt her eyes, so she shut all but two of them. To hide herself from the light, she wrapped herself in a cloak of darkness. The lady in the cloak made friends. A man made of tin. A princess. A hyena. And a tiny, tiny little elf. Together they did noble deeds, and for a time the lady in the cloak lived as one of them. Over time she grew weary. "Booyah!" yelled the tin man. "Train! Pay attention! Mandatory meetings!" screeched the tiny, tiny little elf. The hyena laughed and laughed, and the princess, well, she was cool. But every day, they grew louder, and louder, and louder! Until one night she snapped! Throwing aside her cloak, they saw she was a monster that had been hiding among them. Her fingers became claws, her teeth, razors. She opened all of her hideous eyes. Then, fast as a serpent, she ate them! One by one. What, uh What happened to the monster? Nothing. [EVIL VOICE] Because I'm the monster! [SCREAMING] [ROARING] Retreat to the Tower! Retreat! [ROARING] [SCREAMING] So we're going home? Cool. [LAUGHS] I love campfire stories.

[EPISODE ENDS]