This article is a transcript of the Teen Titans Go! episode "Pie Bros" from season 1, which aired on April 23, 2015.

Beast Boy
Mother Mae-Eye
Titans Tower
Mother Mae-Eye's Pie
Jump City
"I Love Pie"
Plot Point
Cyborg's birthday party.
This transcript is complete.


Interior. Titans Tower.
Beast Boy is sitting in front of the couch, drawing on a piece of paper. Raven levitates into view behind the couch, and takes a quick glance at the paper. She stops.
Raven: What is that?
Beast Boy: A birthday gift for Cyborg.
Beast Boy shows Raven a picture which depicts a Beast Boy-like robot riding a Cyborg-like dog with flames erupting behind them in a purple background.
Beast Boy: [Pointing to the dog.] I'm drawing him as a dog, [Pointing at the robot.] and me as a robot.
Raven: Okay, and you think he's gonna like it?
Beast Boy: [Puts picture in pocket.] As his best friend in the whole world, [Cyborg enters, walking behind the couch.] I always know exactly what he wants.
Cyborg: Hey, beast bud, you hungry? [Walks out of view.]
Beast Boy: [Whispering.] Watch this.
Beast Boy leaps over Raven, knocking her to the ground as the camera switches to the kitchen. Beast Boy lands behind Cyborg, who is staring at an open refrigerator.
Cyborg: Y'know, I kinda feel like having -
Beast Boy: Pie perhaps?
Cyborg: [Gasps.] How'd you know?
Beast Boy: It's my job to know! And 'cause I love pie too!
Cyborg: ♪ When I say, "I want", you say, "pie!" I want - ♪
Beast Boy: ♪ Pie! ♪
Cyborg: ♪ I want - ♪
Beast Boy: ♪ Pie! When I say, "yummy", you say, "pie!" Yummy - ♪
Cyborg: ♪ Pie! ♪
Beast Boy: ♪ Yummy - ♪
Cyborg: ♪ Pie! ♪
Beast Boy and Cyborg: ♪ Apple, rhubarb, peach or pear. Any kid, we don't care. ♪
Beast Boy: ♪ I love pie! ♪
Cyborg: ♪ Yeah, I love pie! ♪
Beast Boy and Cyborg: ♪ Oh we l-l-l-l-l-l-l-love love pie! ♪ [Laugh.]
Beast Boy: Yeah, dude. Warm pie!
Cyborg: I need a slice! [Walks away.]
Beast Boy: [To Raven.] Yup. He's gonna love my gift.
Interior. Mother Mae-Eye's Pies.
The Titans are sitting at a booth. Mother Mae Eye passes the Titans while carrying a pie and humming an eerie tune.
Cyborg: Time to get our pie on!
Robin: [Looks at Cyborg and Beast Boy.] You guys really like pie.
Beast Boy: Who doesn't? [Turns to Raven.] Ooh, whatcha got there? [He slowly moves his finger down towards the pie while Raven watches with her normal expression. He then sticks his finger in the pie, takes out a tiny piece, and puts it in his mouth.] Oh, wow, blueberry. [Licks his finger.]
Raven: [Disgusted.] Ugh, gross!
Beast Boy: [Wipes his hand on Raven's clothes.] Relax, I just washed my hands.
Raven: And, I've lost my appetite. [Uses soul-self to throw her pie away.]
Starfire: The Mother Mae-Eye makes the best pies in all of Jump City!
Mother Mae-Eye holds up pie.
Robin: I wonder what her secret is.
Raven: I hear she bakes [Eyes widen.] people into her pies.
The Titans burst into laughter.
Robin: Someone's been reading too many fairy tales!
Starfire: No, I suspect the secret ingredient is love.
Behind Starfire, Mother Mae-Eye hypnotizes a man sitting in a booth behind the Titans and leads him away.
Cyborg: It's time we talked about something really important. [Arrows pop out of him and point to him.] This guy's birthday!
Starfire: Oh, yes! I have decided to plan Cyborg's day of birth festivities myself.
Robin: [Puts his hand on Starfire's.] No offense, Starfire, but maybe someone else should plan this party.
Starfire: Oh, please allow me. [Squeezes Robin's hand, and he flinches in pain.] I promise I will learn all of the proper Earth customs.
Cyborg: Well, the party can be lame, [Turns to Beast Boy with an excited expression.] as long as the presents aren't!
Beast Boy: And you best believe I know exactly what my best friend wants!
Cyborg: I bet it's not that new video game that a certain cybernatic organism has been dropping hints about! [A thought bubble with the video game appears.]
Beast Boy: [Eyes widen as he thinks about his drawing for Cyborg.] Video game? [Thought bubble shatters.] Uh, it's totally the new game! The really expensive one! The one you should know I can never afford. Yep, that's what I got you.
Cyborg: And that's why you're my best friend!
Beast Boy frowns.
Exterior. Game Bear.
Beast Boy stares at the game Cyborg wants as it stands in the display case. He pulls out his pockets to see that they're empty. He transforms into a kangaroo and checks his pouch, which is empty as well. He transforms back into a human, and tears form in his eyes as he has flashbacks of him and Cyborg hanging together. The flashbacks include them having a burping contest and beating up a criminal that they've captured. After the flashbacks, Beast Boy whimpers as Cyborg's head appears on the body of the video game's main character.
Cyborg: [As a hallucination.] And that's why you're my best friend!
Beast Boy: But I can't afford the game.
Cyborg: [Still as a hallucination, glares at Beast Boy.] Then get a job, you bum.
Beast Boy: [Smiles.] I will get a job! For you, Cyborg Window Hallucination.
The Cyborg hallucination smiles back.
Interior. Chemical Bear.
Beast Boy: [Working in a lab, putting chemicals together in a flask. The liquid begins to bubble up.] Oh, wow, bubbles. [He chuckles just as the liquid explodes, sending him out the window.]
Exterior. Chemical Bear.
Beast Boy takes out a list of his dream jobs and crosses out the word "chemist".
Interior. Court.
Beast Boy: And that, ladies and gentleman of the jury, is why he is guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt! [A man whispers into his ear.] What? I'm supposed to be defending him? [He points to someone off-camera, and the man nods. Beast Boy chuckles nervously as the gavel hits the sounding block.]
Jump City.
The man that he was supposed to defend glares at him as he is put into a jail truck. Beast Boy crosses "lawyer" off his list.
Interior. Hospital.
Beast Boy: [Performs surgery on a man, and he pulls back as he stares at something.] Oh, gross, gross, gross! What's that squiggly thing?! You mean, that's what's inside people? [He faints and is thrown out.]
Exterior. Hospital.
Beast Boy glares at the building as he crosses "surgeon" off his list.
Interior. Mother Mae-Eye's Pies.
Starfire: After much research, I have decided to hold the festivities for Cyborg here.
Raven: [Surprised.] That's actually a good choice.
Starfire: Ooh! I've also made these for the party. [Takes out balloons with small live animals inside them.]
Raven: Ah, balloon animals?
Starfire: Correct. [She lets go of the balloons, and they fly into the air.] And, there will be a game called "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"! [Takes out a giant pin, Raven flinching from it.] Do you think this spike will be sufficient for tail-pinning?
Raven: [Smirks.] Uh, yeah. That's about right.
An actual living donkey shivers and brays nervously.
Robin: [Notices Beast Boy's sad expression.] Hey, you okay, Beast Boy?
Beast Boy: Aw man, it's just ... I can't afford the present that Cyborg really wants.
Robin: Friends don't care about how much money you spend. Just that you put some thought into it.
Cyborg: [Walks in.] What up, Titans? [Jumps into the booth.]
Robin: Which reminds me. [To Cyborg.] Hey, Cyborg! I thought I'd give you your birthday gift a little early! [Gives him his soda.]
Cyborg: [Looks down at the soda with an unsatisfied look.] Your gift to me is a half-drunk soda?
Robin: What? It's not expensive enough for you, fancy pants? [Crosses arms and looks away.] You know, I'd like to think it's the thought that counts. [Whispers to Beast Boy.] We cheapos need to stick together.
Behind them, Mother Mae Eye hypnotizes a man cleaning a table and leads him into the kitchen, humming her semi-eerie song. She then puts up a card that reads "Help Wanted" on the counter. Beast Boy notices this and stands on the counter, wearing a uniform. Mother Mae Eye hands him a shovel and walks away, and he scoops up the unfinished pies. In the kitchen, he transforms into an octopus and flattens three pieces of dough with rolling pins at once. Then, he transforms into a dog and licks the dishes clean. After that, he goes to the bathroom, and, upon looking into a bathroom stall, empties out his cleaning bucket and vomits into it. Back at the front, he cleans the counter, just as Cyborg walks in and sees Beast Boy.
Cyborg: [Laughs.] Nice hat! Whew! Comedy gold!
Beast Boy: Just trying to make a few extra bucks for something important.
Cyborg: Whatever they're paying you, it's not enough! [Pushes a springy pie on top of Beast Boy's hat and laughs.] Oh! Oh my goodness! Whew! [Beast Boy looks at Cyborg with a bored look as he continues laughing for a several more seconds.] Anyway, I'm just making sure my best friend is gonna be at my party. [Points at Beast Boy's outfit.] Not dressed like that, of course.
Beast Boy: About that ... [Rubs the back of his head.] Uh ... I have to work Friday.
Cyborg: What?! It's my birthday!
Beast Boy: If I don't work, I can't - I mean, you won't have - Look, I just - I can't be there.
Cyborg: You are making less sense than usual.
Beast Boy: What I'm trying to say ... is that I'll be there, but ... I'll be working.
Cyborg: Oh. I see. So, basically, making a few extra bucks is more important than your pal. [Beast Boy shrugs sadly, and Cyborg begins to tear up.] Well, do not take my quivering lip as a sign of profound disappointment. [Runs out of the store.]
Beast Boy looks down in guilt and looks at the drawing he made. A tear slips out of his eye and falls onto his drawn face, making it look like it's crying as well. On Friday, the pie shop is set up for Cyborg's birthday party, the balloon animals set up everywhere. Cyborg, Raven, and Robin are sitting at a booth while Starfire flies around top, playing a literal game of Duck Duck Goose with them.
Starfire: [Puts a live duck in front of Cyborg.] Duck [Puts a live duck on top of Raven.] Duck [Puts a live goose on top of Robin.] Goose!
Robin screams as the goose chases him.
Starfire: [To Raven.] Did I get that right?
Raven: That's how I play. [Zaps the duck away.]
Cyborg: [Clinks his glass of juice.] I just wanted to thank you all for coming. And, you know, [Glares at Beast Boy.] taking time off from your jobs.
Beast Boy looks down sadly as he continues cleaning the counter.'
Cyborg: [Purposely drops his glass of juice, and it shatters and spills.] Oops! Speaking of jobs, guess someone is gonna have to pick that up!
Beast Boy, annoyed, goes over to clean up the mess.
Cyborg: [Shoves a pie down onto the floor.] Man! I am so clumsy today! [Shoves down another pie and shouts into Beast Boy's ear.] Oh, cleaning crew! [Pulls away.] I guess my so-called best friend will have to come over and -
Beast Boy: [Throws pie at Cyborg's face.] How dumb can you be?! I'm only working here so I can buy you an expensive present!
Cyborg: [Throws pie at Beast Boy.] I never told you to get a stupid job!
Beast Boy: [Throws pie at Cyborg.] Well, my hallucination of you in the store window did!! [Throws pie at Cyborg again as tears form in his eyes.] And the real you made fun of my pie suit. [Throws another pie at Cyborg.]
Cyborg wipes the pie off his face and glares at Beast Boy. He activates his gun and shoots multiple pies at Beast Boy, who retreats behind the counter and avoids them all. He transforms into a hippo and roars. Cyborg continues throwing pies, and they all land in Beast Boy's mouth. He throws them back out at Cyborg, who dodges them. Some of the pie gets into Robin, Starfire, and Raven's faces.
Robin: [To Starfire and Raven.] Think we should stop them?
Raven: Nah. This is the first time I've actually enjoyed a birthday party.
Starfire: Oh, wonderful! Then the celebration is a great success!
As Cyborg and Beast Boy continue throwing pies at each other, Mother Mae eye walks up to the other Titans, humming her eerie song.
Raven: Um, I don't think we need anymore pies, Granny.
Mother Mae-Eye opens her yellow eyes and smiles, revealing pointy teeth. An eye on her opens, hypnotizing the three Titans. Meanwhile, Cyborg jumps behind a table and uses it to block the incoming pies from hitting him. He then uses his guns and shoot pies at Beast Boy, who avoids them all. The hypnotized Titans follow Mother Mae-Eye into the kitchen while Beast Boy throws pie at Cyborg, jumps down from the counter, and jumps away. Cyborg rolls towards him and shoots more pies at him. Beast Boy transforms into an octopus and catches them all, and he throws them back at Cyborg, who uses a propeller shield to slice them, creating an imprint of his body behind him. In the kitchen, the hypnotized Titans are dropped from a claw and put into a hole in a machine. Mother Mae-Eye laughs evilly and walks away.
Beast Boy: [To Cyborg.] Since you love gifts so much, [Takes out his drawing.] here's what I was gonna give you, [Sticks drawing in pie.] when I still liked you! [Throws the pie in Cyborg's face.]
Cyborg: [Removes drawing from his face and looks at it, speaking angrily.] This is what you got me?! I love it! It's well drawn and thoughtful! Thank you! [Takes pie and smashes it on Beast Boy's head.]
Beast Boy: I knew you'd like it! [He takes pie and throws it at Cyborg's chest, then his eyes widen and he licks the pie off his face. He looks at Cyborg.] Face pie?
Cyborg: [Licks the pie off his face as well.] Ah, the best kind. [Smirks.] Huh, pie bro. ♪ When I say, "I want", you say, "pie!" I want - ♪
Beast Boy: ♪ Pie! ♪
Cyborg: ♪ I want - ♪
Beast Boy: ♪ Pie! When I say, "yummy", you say, "pie!" Yummy - ♪
Cyborg: ♪ Pie! ♪
Beast Boy: ♪ Yummy - ♪
Cyborg: ♪ Pie! ♪
Beast Boy and Cyborg: ♪ Apple, rhubarb, peach or pear. Any kid, we don't care. ♪
Beast Boy: ♪ I love pie! ♪
Cyborg: ♪ Yeah, I love pie! ♪
Beast Boy and Cyborg: ♪ Oh we l-l-l-l-l-l-l-love love pie! ♪ [Fall to the floor, laying on their backs and laugh.]
Beast Boy: Oh man, my pie, bro!
Cyborg: [Puts arm around Beast Boy.] Oh, why were we ever fighting?
Beast Boy: [Hugs Cyborg.] I love pie.
Cyborg: [Hugs Beast Boy back.] I love you and pie.
Beast Boy and Cyborg stand up and look around.
Beast Boy: Hey! Looks like everyone went home!
Cyborg: Just means more pie for us! [Both sit down at a table. Cyborg whistles for Mother Mae-Eye, and she comes out carrying a tray of three pies, each looking color-coordinated to the other three Titans. Cyborg picks up the Starfire pie and looks at it suspiciously.] Something tells me I just figured out what Mother Mae-Eye's secret ingredient is.
Beast Boy: [Looks suspiciously at the Robin pie.] Uh huh.
Cyborg: [Takes a bite out of the Starfire pie, enjoying it.] Love. [Gags and takes a strand of Starfire's hair out of his mouth.]
Beast Boy: [Eats the whole Robin pie, enjoying that while he takes Robin's badge out of his mouth.] Yep. [Throws the badge away and grabs the Raven pie.] The secret ingredient is definitely love. [Takes a bite out of the Raven pie.]
Cyborg and Beast Boy continue eating their pies. The other three Titans, with some pie on their now-torn clothes, stand next to them. Robin and Raven glare at them while Starfire tightens some ropes around Mother Mae Eye, glaring at them afterwards.
Robin: (Sarcastically) Seriously?
Cyborg and Beast Boy: (Oblivious) What?
Episode ends.