This article is a transcript of the Teen Titans Go! episode "The Metric System vs Freedom" from season Season 5, which aired on Monday, March 11, 2019.
| Characters Robin Raven Cyborg Beast Boy Evil Scientists |
Locations Titans Tower Scientists' Lair |
| Song None |
Plot Point The superiority of imperial units over the metric system |
| This transcript is partially complete. |
Transcript[]
| SCENE: Titans Tower Dining Room (Evening) | |
| The episode begins with the Titans eating mushroom pizza at the table. | |
| Cyborg: | Woo doggy, I'm thirsty! [Turns to Beast Boy.] Yo Beastie, grab me a liter of soda! |
|---|---|
| Beast Boy: | [Points to Cyborg while Robin gives a worried look.] You got it, brah! |
| Beast Boy walks to the refrigerator and opens it as Robin stares at him menacingly. When Beast Boy grabs the soda, Robin grinds his teeth, lets out a war cry on top of the table, jumps at the liter, and bashes it into the ground with his staff, yelling. Beast Boy screams in fright. | |
| Robin: | [Pins Beast Boy against fridge.] We do not drink liters of soda in the household! |
| Robin bats the soda away again mid-sentence, then continues attacking it while yelling and gasping. He hurts Beast Boy in the process. Then Robin sets an explosive on the bottle and throws it out the window. It explodes. | |
| Robin: | [Points to Beast Boy and other frightened Titans.] If you are thirsty, you can drink a gallon of milk... [Pulls out a gallon of milk with strong arm. The screen zooms in.] |
| Raven: | Whoa, take it easy... |
| Starfire: | [Shrugs.] It is only the fizzy drink. |
| Robin: | [Finishes chugging milk sloppily.] My problem isn't the soda, it's the liters! [Pokes pizza.] |
| Beast Boy: | [Grabs his arm.] I hear that... leaders are the worst! Take you for example! [Points at Robin.] |
| Robin: | Not leaders, "li—ters!" As in the unit of measurement! [Waves arms.] |
| Cyborg: | [Shrugs.] What, you don't want us measuring things now!? |
| Robin: | Oh, measure all you want. But liters belong to the metric system... [A baby pops using metric objects pops onto the screen and cries.] We only use the imperial system in this tower! [Salutes the words "IMPERIAL."] |
| Beast Boy: | [Gasps, then jumps on table with a red lightsaber.] Side with that dirty Darth Vader!? [Swings at Robin, who ducks] Na-ah, bro! |
| Robin: | [Jumps away.] The imperial system has nothing to do with Darth Vader, but everything to do with America! [Poses in front of an United States backdrop with American icons.] If you love freedom, you must reject the metric system! [Punches screen mid-sentence.] |
| Cyborg: | Give us several reasons why! |
| Robin: | [Pulls down a simple metric chart.] The metric system uses numbers and shared prefixes to describe measurements: milligram, centigram, kilogram... [Looks at camera.] It's all the same! [Shows them a complex imperial chart, and uses a ruler as a pointer] Now, the far superior imperial system uses random objects, such as a foot, or a yard [foot and yard pics pop up] which gives measurements individuality! ["INDIVIDUALITY" pops up on-screen. He waves it off.] And individuality is the very definition of what it means to be a freedom-loving American! [He's now has an Uncle Sam hat, bald eagle, and U.S. flag.] |
| Cyborg: | You know, scientists say the metric system is superior, and ain't nobody smarter than a scientist. |
| Robin: | [Looks around, panicked] Ah-wah-ha-das-scientists?! [Runs to Titans.] You haven't seen any scientists, have you!? [Grabs Beast Boy.] Tell me, TELL ME... |
| Beast Boy: | [Worried.] I didn't see no scientists, bro... |
| Robin: | [Shoves him away.] Good... very good. [Goes to a chart depicting an evil scientist.] Scientists want to convert the entire world to the metric system, and will stop at nothing—NOTHING to achieve their goal [Poses in front of fire mid-sentence.] |
| Starfire: | You make the scientist person sound as though they are the evil secret society! |
| Robin: | [Slams table.] That's exactly what they are! If you see any scientists, squash them like the cockroaches they are! [Pokes pizza. The Titans watch, looking worried.] |
| Raven: | Okay crazy, you still haven't convinced me the imperial system is better than the metric system. |
| Robin: | No? Then this will! [Camera zooms in on face.] There is one activity where imperial outshines metric... baking! [He's now dressed like a baker in front of the bread-designed word "BAKING." |