"Titans, GO!- And no other words after GO! and if anyone tries to add another word after GO! They're a dummy! GO!!!" This article is a stub. You can help Teen Titans Go! Wiki by expanding it.
This article is a transcript of the Teen Titans Go! episode "Two Parter" from season 3, which aired on November 25, 2015.
Characters TBA
Locations TBA
Song None
Plot Point TBA
This transcript is incomplete.
Transcript[]
Titans, can you feel it? No, and I don't think I want to.
Well, I can! Something in the air is telling me - today is special! - Special how, yo? Special! As in something is going to happen that will take twice as long as it usually does for us to resolve.
The increased amount of time sounds the amazing! Yes! Because every so often, an event occurs that is Special! A special event, if you will, that propels us into an epic adventure.
I'm kind of busy.
When does this go down? Just wait for it.
Keep waiting.
It'll be special.
Hark! Did you hear that? The air conditioning broke down.
Special! But, Robin, did we not already experience the breaking of the conditioner of the air long ago? - And that was not special at all.
- We had trouble using that situation to fill the normal amount of time.
I am telling you.
This is especial! From this broken air conditioner, we will set forth on our most exciting adventure to date.
A double-length adventure, perhaps divided into two distinct parts! I'm feeling pretty hot, yo.
Feeling hot! Excellent! Okay! Let's see where that takes us.
This does not feel like the special event yet.
Uh, are you sure? Pools can be pretty special.
You want something special? Cannonball! - Great job.
- You ruined the pool, Cyborg! Wait.
This could be special! - Hopefully.
- Bros, I'm still crazy hot.
I gots to cool off, and I knows a special place to do it.
The Hall of Justice! I like where things are going! Special! - Please stop saying "special.
" - Just trying to get everyone hyped! All right, I'm swimming.
Who's with me? We are! Marco! - This is special! - Polo! You know, you guys are disrespecting the fountain - with all your horseplay.
- Lighten up, bro.
Come on in.
No way! What if the Justice League catches us? - Who cares? - They'd never let me join if they caught me swimming in their fountain.
I did not know you wished to join the League of Justice.
It's always been a dream of mine to be a part of a first-rate superhero team.
- Maybe they'll take me someday.
- Ah, yes, first-rate.
I'd give anything to be a member of the Justice League.
Wow.
So touching, Cyborg.
But, you do know if they took anyone, it would obviously be me, right? So, stop worrying and get in here.
It feels great! Ooh.
I just found a warm spot.
- Ew.
- This warm water is really relaxing my muscles.
- Mmm.
- That's the warm embrace of justice, bro.
I would like the embracing of the warm justice.
Uh, no! You really don't.
In fact, we should all get out now.
Good idea.
Since today is so special! I think Cyborg should live his dream.
Come on, buddy.
I'll introduce you to the Justice League.
- I'm nervous, let's just go home.
- Nonsense.
You should meet them.
They'll love you.
You really think so? Psych! - Ding dong ditch! - No, don't leave me! Ding dong ditch.
Ding dong ditch.
Ding dong ditch.
Ding dong ditch! Uh, uh Hello? Hello, Wonder Woman.
You have a lovely home.
Is that jasmine I smell? Greetings, Superman.
What a cape you have there.
It is red.
Man, this is lame.
No one is even home.
If the Hall of Justice is empty, how about a little tour? - Yes! - No! - Locked.
- Dude, we can't just let ourselves in.
Oh, no? Then why did they leave a key? Wow! - Look at this! - Yeah! Now, this truly is a special, special, special event! You say that, but nothing's really happened yet.
But, we are filling lots of time, which is Special! This is special.
We are in the home of the greatest superhero team of all time.
I feel inspired.
- I, too, feel the inspiration.
- Eh, not me.
So, what do you want to see first? Of all the cool things in here, you wanna see the fridge? I thought the contents would be more heroic.
Huh.
Wonder Woman really likes that yogurt that makes you poop.
- Dibs on the sandwich.
- No, no, no, no, no! That belongs to Batman! His name is on it! Come on, bro.
You really think Batman - cares about a sandwich? - Of course he does.
He's Batman! Mmm.
Batman put an alarm on his sandwich? Of course he did, he's Batman! Area restricted to Justice League members only.
Intruders will be detained.
Run! Ahhh! Okay.
That robot won't stop for anyone but the Justice League.
So, suit up! Uh, we are not gonna fool the robot by putting on these costumes.
What a dumb idea.
Dibs on Batman! Slow down, there, Raven.
I'm Batman.
Yo, I can be a bat.
Let me be Batman! - I wish to be the Batman! - I already called dibs.
I'm Batman! So sweaty.
Ugh! Smells like vinegar.
And the sweaty cheese.
Of course he sweats.
He's Batman! Or should I say, "I'm Batman"? - Beasty, you be Martian Manhunter.
- Who? You know, the cool green dude from Mars who hunts men all the time.
Sweet.
I wanna hunts me some mens.
Raven, you be Wonder Woman.
Great.
So, all I get is a swim suit, some bracelets and a rope? That rope is the Golden Lasso.
Those bound by it are forced to tell the truth.
Really? Hey, Batman.
Remember that wet spot on your pants you said was water? It was pee.
I said it was water, but it was totally pee.
You try fighting crime after drinking - too much cranberry juice! - Cool.
- Ooh, who shall I be? - How about The Flash? I am the Flash! Flash, flash, flash, flashety, flash, flash! Nice moves, Flash.
Green Lantern approves.
Booyah! - Sweet ring, bro.
- Thank you.
This ring is the most powerful weapon in the universe.
It can manifest anything with your willpower alone.
Witness its power! Are those the Golden Girls? You know it.
What up, Bea? That ring can manifest any weapon imaginable, and you choose the Golden Girls? These sassy old broads are the toughest ladies around.
When the chips are down, you want the Golden Girls in your corner.
Wow.
You'd make such a great member of the Justice League.
It's okay, Bea.
Not even your sardonic one-liners can make him a pal and confidant.
Okay.
Be cool.
Play your parts or this won't work.
Area restricted to Justice League members only.
Intruders will be detained.
Intruders! What? We're the Justice League, baby.
Scan complete.
Welcome back, Wonder Woman.
Uh, yep.
That's me.
How'd you know? Them legs.
Well, then, we are clearly the Justice League, so you can stand down.
Identity unconfirmed.
State your name.
Green Lantern, obviously.
Check out the ring.
Which Green Lantern? There are several.
Why would there be more than one? I'm, uh, you know, uh, Steve.
There is no Green Lantern Steve.
Intruders will be detained.
Raven, help! Raven? Never heard of her.
I think I'll try one of the those poo yogurts.
Well, Cyborg, you did your best trying to lead us.
But, we're still going to die Which is why they'd choose me over you to be in the Justice League! Good-bye, dear friends.
"Friends.
" That's it! Thank you, Starfire.
Thank you for being a friend.
Bea Arthur in your face! - How'd it go? - Awesome, that's how.
- I told you today was a special event.
- Indeed.
But it took the same amount of time as our other adventures.
The Justice League has been captured by Darkseid.
Uh-oh.
Looks like this little adventure has another part coming at you.
You know what that means.
Special!
Titans! It seems that the second part of this special event will entail saving the Justice League from Darkseid.
The Dark Side? [LAUGHING.]
Finally, we got some Star Wars up in this piece! [MIMICKING LIGHTSABER.]
Should I be dressed like Han Solo then? And I will be the Bacca that chews.
[MIMICS GROWLING NOISES.]
Not "the Dark Side"! Darkseid.
The most dangerous villain in the universe.
Powerful enough to defeat any hero he faces.
- Even Superman? - Yes.
- Batman? - Yes.
Spider-Man? Well, Spider-Man wouldn't fight Darkseid - Is it because he is too lazy? - What a bum! You know, this really lowers my opinion of Spider-Man.
We have to get to planet Apokolips, and save the Justice League from Darkseid's deadly grasp.
Fine.
But let's change into our own clothes first.
No way! We have to wear these costumes, to honor the heroes we aspire to be! But it's more than that! It's about my dream to join the Justice League.
The history.
The honor.
The justice.
In that case, I say we all play pretend and act like dumb little babies, so Cyborg can live out his childish dream.
Thanks, Robin.
Now, before we save the Justice League, there's something I always wanted to do.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[DEEP VOICE.]
Assembled in the mighty Hall of Justice are the world's greatest heroes.
The Flash! The fastest person on Earth, but needs to improve her endurance.
[COUGHING.]
Batman! He always tells you his name, so there's no confusion! - I'm Batman.
- Wonder Woman! - She's got bracelets, and a rope! - And yogurt.
The Martian Manhunter! Watch out, men! Get back here, you mans! And Green Lantern! Almost as cool as Cyborg! Who should totally be a member of the Justice League one day Evil-doers beware! These guys are doing things! Everywhere! With their underwear on the outside! Phew! Okay.
Let's get to our vehicles.
We've got superheroes to save! [ENERGY PULSATING.]
So, we all get our own vehicles? Cool! [PLANES TINKLING.]
Ooh, I can't wait to try out Wonder Woman's invisible jet! [HATCH SEALS.]
Okay, let's see here.
Uh How do I Hmm.
Guess I'll just pull this [ENGINES REV.]
[PLANE CRASHING.]
[ENGINES SLOWING.]
Oops Umm Maybe this one? [LEVER CRANKS.]
[PLANE CRASHING.]
Oh! Yikes.
Okay, okay.
I-I've got it now! I think [BUTTON DINGS.]
[PLANE CRASHING.]
Oops, sorry! [PLANE CRASHING.]
Whoa! [PLANE CRASHING.]
I, uh Oh! One second [PLANE CRASHING.]
[STRUGGLING.]
Whoa [DUST SETTLING.]
Heh.
That wasn't right [PLANES SIZZLING.]
I guess we'll ride with you, then Everyone squeeze in.
[ALL STRAINING.]
[ROBIN STRAINING.]
Okay.
Let's go.
[ENERGY PULSATING.]
So, this is Apokolips.
[ALL EXCLAIMING.]
Ooh - Wow! - Incredible.
Where's Martian Manhunter? Still in the invisible John, bro! Can you at least shut the door? It is shut! See [AIR RUSHING.]
[ALL COUGHING.]
[CHOKING.]
Close it! Close it! You're out of invisible toilet paper, Mama.
[SHUDDERING.]
This is the most dangerous planet in the universe! To save the Justice League, we'll have to use all of our powers together! Batman! You - Batman? - [DEEP VOICE.]
I'm Batman.
- I need you to Where'd he go? - I'm Batman.
Listen, I just need you Stop disappearing dramatically! What was that? I'm Batman.
Stay still and listen! - I can't.
I'm Batman.
- Say, "I'm Batman," one more time.
I dare you.
I double-dare you.
I'm Batman.
[ENERGY PULSATING.]
[THUMP.]
Ow! Ohh, you just got Bea Arthur-ed, son! Thanks, Bea! Is there nothing your deadpan sass can't fix? [ENERGY PULSATING.]
[ELECTRONIC BEEPING.]
There! It's the Justice League! Batman, quick! Use your batarangs to free them! [LASER FIRING.]
Darkseid! How dare you enter my home and try to take what is mine! [CRASHING.]
Children should not meddle in the affairs of adults.
[ALL TEETH CHATTERING.]
That voice is so scary So gravelly, yo! For your insolence, you will be cast into the fires of Excuse me, Mr.
Seid? Would you care for a lozenge? Uh Yes, actually.
You appear to have the scratchies of the throat.
Uh, I've been fighting this cold for the longest time.
[CHEWING.]
Mmm, mmm.
Mmm, mmm, mmm [CLEAR VOICE.]
Mmm, oh, wow, thank you! My throat feels so much better.
My pleasure.
Ah, yeah.
Now, where was I? Oh, yeah.
You will be cast into the fires of Apokolips, where you will burn for eternity! Um You're not You're not cowering in fear - Your voice isn't threatening anymore.
- Oh, come on! I'm still terrifying.
You should be all trembling and stuff.
Maybe it'll help if you tell us your evil plans.
Can't you see I have the lives of the Justice League literally hanging in the balance? I press a button, and boom! They're gone! You do not sound like the kind of person who would do such a thing.
Well, I'm also going to use the Anti-Life Equation to destroy Earth.
Equations? [LAUGHING.]
Ahh.
Are you a bad guy, or are you a math nerd, bro? You know, this dude totally sounds like someone I know! Weird Al Yankovic! - He so does! - Yes, indeed! Ah, yes, the great singer of song parodies.
[CHUCKLING.]
If only I was half as evil! To earn a living by making songwriters look like fools [CHUCKLING.]
Diabolical.
I dunno, I think it's all in good fun.
What's fun about undercutting musicians by subverting their words and compromising their artistic integrity? Weird Al is a true monster! You take that back! He is a national treasure! A monster, I say! That tears it! You're going down, Darkseid! Justice League, go! - That's you guys.
- Huh? ALL: Oh, yeah, okay.
Got my lasso [MUSIC.]
[YELLING.]
Ahhh! [ELECTRONIC BEEPING.]
Whoa! Bracelet block, bracelet block, bracelet block.
Ahh! I'm gonna hunt me some mans! [CHOMPING.]
Ahh! [YELLING.]
[GOLDEN GIRLS THEME PLAYING.]
Ahhh! No! How will we ever learn to balance cutting humor and loving friendship without you? You failed! The Justice League will soon be no more! And Earth will be destroyed! Along with your precious Weird Al! I may have failed as Green Lantern, but I won't as Cyborg! Ping.
[ENERGY PULSATING.]
Ahhh! [WHIRRING.]
[GASPING.]
[SIZZLING.]
[SPLASHING.]
Bullseye! - You were the amazing, Cyborg! - Really? Thanks to you, we defeated Darkseid, and saved the Justice League! [CLUNKING.]
Forget what I just said.
You're a failure.
On the bright side, there's a spot open on the Justice League now! You just defeated Darkseid, so they're probably going to take you, bro! No! Not like this! I failed them.
If only I could reverse time and bring Martian Manhunter back Reverse time? That's it! I can send us back in time by flying very fast around the planet, causing it to spin in reverse, creating time travel science! - You mean like Superman did that one time? - Exactly.
[YELLING.]
Time travel science! [CYBORG ZOOMING.]
[TAPE REWINDING.]
[CLINKING.]
- We're back! - Quickly! Save the Martian Manhunter! [CLINKING.]
- Oops - Again! [MUSIC.]
[CLINKING.]
Again! [CYBORG ZOOMING.]
[CLINKING.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
Again! [CYBORG ZOOMING.]
- He did it! - Now, let's open these things up! [BEEPING.]
[ALARM SOUNDING.]
- We're so bad at this! - Again [CYBORG ZOOMING.]
- [EXHALING.]
They are safe.
- Let's just leave them here.
But they'll never know that I defeated Darkseid - and saved the world! - Friend Cyborg, one day they will surely recognize your strength and bravery.
Just be true to yourself, and you will live your dream.
Thanks, Star.
But to one day call the Hall of Justice home [SIGHING.]
like that'll ever happen.
[ALL GIGGLING.]
This never gets old.
Okay, okay.
Shh, shh, shh.
[YELLING.]
Ding, dong, ditch! [DOORBELL RINGS.]
[ALL LAUGHING.]
BEAST BOY: Suckers! [ROBIN LAUGHING.]
[DOORS SLIDING.]
[ROBIN CHUCKLING.]
Hey, I see you! Get back here, you scamp! [ALL LAUGHING.]
